Amelinda Berube
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The Writer's Voice (contest entry)

5/21/2015

17 Comments

 
*** Taking this down for now - always up for swapping critiques, though, so drop me a line! ***
17 Comments
Taylor link
5/21/2015 05:28:47 am

Ooh this sounds chilling! I loved your sample; your writing is beautiful and poignant. Good luck in the contest!

Reply
Amelinda
5/22/2015 05:46:15 am

Yay, thanks so much! To you too!

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DJ Siciliano link
5/21/2015 10:28:33 am

Another "read me with the lights on" tale I feel I must read. Fantastic opening! Good Luck!

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Amelinda
5/22/2015 05:47:57 am

:D Thank you! Good luck to you too!

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stacey Trombley link
5/21/2015 12:09:51 pm

You don't need feedback. This is AWESOME (and right up my ally you'd be on my shortlist if I were a judge)

The only suggest I have is trim the part about Rhiannon's mom because it just adds another character (maybe just say she vows to help and they take matters into their own hands) plus I think throwing knives bit could be more tense in the query. (Does it barely miss them?) But this is all pure opinion. If you didn't change a word you'd likely be fine.

LOVE! Good luck!

Stacey Trombley

Reply
Amelinda
5/22/2015 05:48:52 am

That was totally heartening! Thanks for taking a look!

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Mia
5/21/2015 10:23:39 pm

Great entry. I'd never be able to read this with the lights out. Good luck in the contest.

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Amelinda
5/22/2015 05:50:57 am

Thanks Mia! Are you a fellow contestant? Will look for your entry...!

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Shawn D. Humphrey
5/22/2015 12:46:55 am

Hey there- great entry. The query definitely had me interested in how things will develop. I enjoyed the 250 as well.

Best of luck!

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Amelinda
5/22/2015 05:51:33 am

Awesome, thank you! Will look for you on the roster!

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Annette T. Dodd link
5/22/2015 04:36:46 am

Good luck in the competition! (Are you on Twitter, btw?)

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Amelinda
5/22/2015 05:45:24 am

Thanks! :D And yes indeed, I'm @metuiteme - just followed you!

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Rachel link
5/22/2015 09:25:37 am

I could just hear creepy music in my head as I read this. Good luck!

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Elizabeth Runnoe link
5/23/2015 11:36:11 pm

This is really awesome. You've definitely upped the creepy factor! :) Good luck!

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Kathleen S. Allen link
5/24/2015 12:44:53 pm

Yay, another horror writer! Although my #thewvoice entry is fantasy, I write horror too. Great first 250! Good luck!

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Kurt Hartwig
5/26/2015 12:16:18 am

fellow dabbler in academics and carpentry, I salute you! great opening, and good luck in the coming weeks.

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Ellen Mulholland link
5/26/2015 09:37:39 am

Nice work. Great voice. Good luck with your manuscript!

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